Learning to Trust and Be Satisfied
"Not that I speak according to want, for I have learned, in whatever circumstances I am, to be content." This is what the apostle Paul wrote about himself in his letter to the Philippians. This verse, Philippians 4:11, is one that I had read many times and even appreciated, but it was not until I passed through some experiences that I grasped the full reality of its meaning.
I had heard many new believers testify of their emptiness, despite their indulgence in the things of the world, until they found salvation and peace though faith in Jesus Christ. But I never thought this would be my experience because I had been a believer since my childhood.
I thought in my years as a Christian, I had been fairly diligent in things of the Lord. I even counted myself zealous. I was active in church, prayed, read the Bible daily. Regarding my career, I had worked hard to be successful, yet I couldn't help wondering if this was all it had to offer. I thought to myself, "Christians arenít supposed to feel this way.Ē I was sure the problem was with the situation, not with me. I interpreted disappointment as loneliness and unrest as boredom. I sought to medicate the pain with other relationships, toys and activities. Each one ended in disappointment. Should this be the testimony of a believer? Over and over again, I found that if I let my heart yearn for anything over my commitment to and love for Christ, or if I put anything in preeminence over Him, I would be disappointed. This lesson has stayed with me. Now, I donít expect that circumstances will cease to be difficult or that failure will be eliminated, but I do have a certain assurance and peace within my heart that though situations may fail, relationships may not work, my aspirations may not be fulfilled, yet the investment I have in Christ, if allowed to grow will reap "joy unspeakable and full of glory". (1 Peter 1:8)
This is my testimony. That even as a Christian for many years, Iím learning to trust and be satisfied in the all-sufficiency and provision of Jesus Christ my Lord; to believe that "my God shall fill every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).
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